I really need to sort out my priorities. Well, not even that, i just need to cut down the 'to-do' list. That way i can put my full focus and energy into the things i truly love. I really need to get back on track with God. There's no other way to say that one. I'm always at church, always working at the church. leading things at the church, but just because I'm there, doesn't mean i''m actually spending time with God, and growing with him into the person he wishes me to become.
And I KNOW that as soon as i fix things with him, everything else will fall into place. It's soo obvious, it's creepy and almost scary. And i try to convince myself it's just in my head. But if i ever want to accomplish anything, i really need to seek him first. I've had this pact with God since, i think freshman or sophomore year. And if i told you, you'd probably laugh at me and tell me that I'm stupid and can't control the world. But i swear on everything in me it's 100% real. When i keep up my end, God provides, and when i fall short, my desires aren't met.
okay now i just sound crazy.
I really need to put more trust in him as well. wow this just turned into a sermon, which is exactly what i didn't want.
I'm just in an unusually unpleasant mood this evening.
on the other hand, a lot of random things are falling into place! but I'm scared to get my hopes up. Oh well, we'll see how this goes.
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You may have heard, I recently re-read The Shack. Have you read it yet? If not, let me know and I'll se that you get one. Anyway, I have a quote from the book on the board in my lounge.
"I don't want to be first among a list of values- I want to be at the center of everything!" -Papa
It helps me to see that every day. Keep up the seeking and you will find! *D
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